Call It What Cha Want, But I Know What I Need!

Took several attempts to create this post due to technical difficulties; however, here I go. This blog site is my therapy. I am currently in a strange place in life that many may not view so strange. I liken this feeling to being in a crowded place with no one in site. There, but not there.
I am a mom. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a Child of GOD. I am a Child of GOD. I am somewhere strange and wish to be somewhere more fulfilling. I am something to everyone, but who am I to myself? I am cheating on myself.

Despite the fact that many outsiders may feel I have the perfect life, I have my battles. Everyone does. At some point, many of us feel that we are lacking some need in our lives. I am there. At first I did not know what it was I needed so badly, but I knew I had to figure it out. Now I know! Passion! My passion is misdirected... completely! I am in love with what I can't have, and only love what I do have. Did you catch that? In other words, my yard needs some work, it is not so attractive anymore. Time to do some gardening.

...time to resod, reseed, up root old things that were planted as flowers but took over as weeds, and realize that everything has its season. Departing from such things is the problem. From the beginning I already know that this will not be an easy feat. As with anything new, some things will work and others may not, but experience brings wisdom and knowledge if sought thru the right avenue. Likewise, feelings, pride, all sorts of emotions will be stirred, and that makes grounds for unwanted mental unrest, but it has to be done, or balance/happiness never returns.

So.... I am here, but not here. I have a lot of major gardening to do! So major, that I applied for a work permit thru GOD that I found was granted years ago. Funny how that was just sitting there... waiting for me! Man, this is going to be hard, and a lot of people will be affected, but I have to get back to me. This blog is my journey to a new garden.

GOD please give me strength to overcome my road blocks and set my eyes only on mastering that which awards me wisdom, knowledge, and happiness. GOD willing, may I love what I do and be in love with it the same....unchanging!