So Much Has Changed

Today is a reminder that I am still under construction. I thank God for his direction and strength given to me to make some very important moves. I am still taking me back, and each day I grow stronger while doing it. Funny thing though.... how people begin to change when they see that you will no longer give yourself completely to them after they have destroyed their position with me. Although I am quite a loyal person, I have learned to refrain from letting people have so much of me. It drains my Spirit... and I refuse to let this happen again. So today I feel a little stronger and closer to knowing and understanding myself better. Flaws and all!

Taking Some More of Me Back

I have given so much of me away that I barely know the person in the mirror, but this is changing... I am taking me back. I realize now that I have occupied the same space with a growing black hole. Therefore, I pray everyday, that GOD guides my steps out of this mess that I have navigated to. I know that GOD has heard my prayers for my spirit seems to grow more each day.

Waiting For The "Go Ahead...."

Today is a beautiful day. Not to hot and a pleasant breeze. I am definitely one lady who hates staying inside the house. I have continued with my online business classes at a snails pace. I will do better. I have also been looking for employment with a company specializing in neonatal services that does exactly or close to what I wish to offer. I have yet to find a single company. Therefore, back to square one. I may have to start this business with the realization that I am on somewhat uncharted territory. I am also seeking employment with a company that may offer some needed experience in future endeavors related to my business. With that said, I do one thing several times a day now, talk to GOD. In the right time, in the right place, waiting for GOD to say "Go Ahead, I will lead you the right way."

Olive Leaf

I decided I would post something that I consider a hobby. I love to research and sometimes personally test alternative therapy/medicines. With that said...

Other than using Airborne, if anyone is thinking of an alternative way to ward off colds along with other bacterial infections, I can actually vouch for this one. Olive Leaf works for preventing colds. I have been the only one to not get sick this past winter, and I think Olive leaf had something to do with it. I purchased olive leaf capsules 150mg 20% oleuropein. After researching, the percentage of oleuropein is more important than the mg taken, and the body can only utilize 20% of oleuropein every 4 hours, however, some research may say 40%.

I began taking Olive leaf at the beginning of December last year. I took 2 capsules daily and sometimes up to 4, when everyone I knew had a cold. I was the only one to not get sick. I actually went throughout winter without catching a cold. I stopped taking olive leaf at the end of March. I personally don't believe in taking anything daily permanently. Not even a vitamin. Just to give my liver a break, and not become addicted to any substance.

I also purchased the loose leaves from a local organic food and herb market, and prepared it as a tea. I did not go by any measuring tools for this. I just put 1-2 leaves/ cup of water and boiled it. I brewed a cup of tea everyday along with taking 2- 4 capsules internally when I felt like my body was given in to susceptibility. I must say that I think the tea preparation works just as good, if not better than the capsules. One warning, olive leaf tea is not like your classic tea. It is an acquired taste.

Not only is Olive Leaf known to be an immune system booster, it is an antibacterial/anti-fungal agent, blood pressure reducer, and blood sugar reducer as well. With that said, I am naturally hypoglycemic and had to made sure to use honey as a sweetener for the tea, because, yes, I did feel the affects of my blood sugar dropping too low. Please be careful with this herb. It works, but if you have low blood sugar, diabetes, hypotension, or even hypertension, please consult your physician first prior to use if need be. Warning, many doctors are truly into Western medicine and tend not to travel outside of this realm. You may want to consult a DO instead of an MD if this is the case. Of course anyone truly knowledgeable practitioner of herbal medicine will be able to elaborate more on the advantages and disadvantages of olive leaf.

I hope this information is helpful to someone.

FYI, I intentionally do not include my sources. I believe that everyone should do their own research before taking any traditional or alternative medicine. This is a hobby! I am a healthcare professional, but I am not a DO, MD, or consultant. Do your research first.

Silver Biotics

Silver Biotics are suppose to be good for killing bacterial and some viral infections, and good for preventing colds and flu. What caught me, upon researching, is that this product hac been tested in Ghana. Since this is the claim presented on the http://www.zhealthinfo.com/silverbiotics.htm website and many others, still a sceptic, I began questioning some of my Ghanaian family and contacts, who are either physicians and/or medical researchers, concerning this product. Come to find out that they have heard of this product and found that it even works for malaria cases. I even found out that the saying "born with a silver spoon in my mouth" may have derived from this element. OK I thought, so I purchased the product.

Of course I will not recommend Silver Biotics until I have found the claims to be true. I have already began using it on my skin. I refuse to take anything internally until I do a test patch. I used it on my leg for a week, increasing area coverage each day, and amazingly, the irritation I got from shaving daily stopped, only on the tested area. Last week I tried Silver Biotics on my face, rubbing a particular area, and again, that area cleared as well. Now I use it daily after washing my face to prevent breakouts.

I have only been using this product for 2 weeks and externally. This week I will take it internally and see what happens. I am healthy and do not have a cold or flu symptoms, but if I do I will began taking this product to see what happens.

OK. I held off completing this entry until I finished trying Silver Biotics 10ppm Silver internally. I have twice fought cold/flu like symptoms twice. My symptoms were general malaise, cold and hot flashes, sore throat, and occasional runny nose, without fever. I took 2 tsp daily while the symptoms persisted. The symptoms both times disappeared after taking this dosage for two days. On the 3rd day I just took 1 tsp, and completely stopped on the 4th day. There were no side effects from taking this product. So to make it short, I believe this product, Silver Biotics, works. An 8 oz bottle of Silver Biotics is about 25.00 at GNC, but you can get 16oz for the same amount on http://www.luckyvitamin.com/. Hope this was helpful.

Short and Sweet...Then again Just Short!

I love my life, but I do not want to develop Alien Hand Syndrome and end up on any future episodes of Snapped. Gotta tap in... Gotta stay focused!

Ok. Maybe TMI. Enough said!

Round 1

Today, has been interesting. While everyone I know is worried about swine flu and playing dodge ball from anyone who may sneeze or look like they just came from Mexico, I have begun free online business courses and put my Neonatal business on hold. Man I had no idea that there was so much more I needed to understand. I have hustled in the past, but not on the level I am about to master. I am a dedicated person, and very hard to sway. Therefore, some of my support has become unsupportive in my efforts (not surprised). I only get a chance to really study after the kids are asleep. Therefore, sleep and I are not on good terms for now. God is working with me in other areas as well. Many people say I am too serious, and I look mean most of the time. Well I am working on the mean part, but the seriousness stays. Every minute counts. So if I see you in public somewhere, appear to be looking at you in a mean sorta way, and I fail to say hello, please know that I am not ignoring you, and I am not angry, its just that I am often focused on a thought or goal. Likewise, I tend to really focus on people when they are speaking to me, and some take that as being too intense. Well I can't change that either, but I am working on the smiling more part, and I think I am doing great! Well enough for now. Time for the daily workout! Walking the neighborhood with the Lil GRITS and wearing them out so that they will sleep throughout the night.

Call It What Cha Want, But I Know What I Need!

Took several attempts to create this post due to technical difficulties; however, here I go. This blog site is my therapy. I am currently in a strange place in life that many may not view so strange. I liken this feeling to being in a crowded place with no one in site. There, but not there.
I am a mom. I am a wife. I am a daughter. I am a Child of GOD. I am a Child of GOD. I am somewhere strange and wish to be somewhere more fulfilling. I am something to everyone, but who am I to myself? I am cheating on myself.

Despite the fact that many outsiders may feel I have the perfect life, I have my battles. Everyone does. At some point, many of us feel that we are lacking some need in our lives. I am there. At first I did not know what it was I needed so badly, but I knew I had to figure it out. Now I know! Passion! My passion is misdirected... completely! I am in love with what I can't have, and only love what I do have. Did you catch that? In other words, my yard needs some work, it is not so attractive anymore. Time to do some gardening.

...time to resod, reseed, up root old things that were planted as flowers but took over as weeds, and realize that everything has its season. Departing from such things is the problem. From the beginning I already know that this will not be an easy feat. As with anything new, some things will work and others may not, but experience brings wisdom and knowledge if sought thru the right avenue. Likewise, feelings, pride, all sorts of emotions will be stirred, and that makes grounds for unwanted mental unrest, but it has to be done, or balance/happiness never returns.

So.... I am here, but not here. I have a lot of major gardening to do! So major, that I applied for a work permit thru GOD that I found was granted years ago. Funny how that was just sitting there... waiting for me! Man, this is going to be hard, and a lot of people will be affected, but I have to get back to me. This blog is my journey to a new garden.

GOD please give me strength to overcome my road blocks and set my eyes only on mastering that which awards me wisdom, knowledge, and happiness. GOD willing, may I love what I do and be in love with it the same....unchanging!

Speaking Out Silently

Well, the past few years have been consuming. I feel like the energy I use to direct in other areas, educational and professional, is all directed toward my husband and children now. Not that anything is wrong with that! But, I feel as if a part of me was fading. The first time I felt this is when I got married. I would say within the first two years of marriage, I felt my world shifting slowly towards the unknown. Frankly, it scared me quite a bit. Of course I reached out to my mother. She had sympathy, but now the ongoing question was, "What the heck did I just do to my inner self?" I felt alone and battered. A lot of things changed in my life. I use to have what I would call visions, lots of premonitions, and was able to sense many things about people just by the vibes they would give off by simply walking by or looking at them. This all changed when I married. Go figure! Well I figured my "self" would return after I settled down into marriage. I am still settling! Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever feel really comfortable in my marriage. Then there are the kids. Once again, another part of me faded. I became so depressed after our second child that I gave up hope on any more children. Of course there is a lot not being discussed here. I know the sources of my depression. I just know that I can not run away from them and was not dealing with them properly.

I think I now know what was fading and where it has gone! One word! Transference!

I had evolved emotionally, socially, interlectually, physically, and spiritually into a being who only had to really consider "self". When I married, I transferred so much of this energy to my husband, and then to my children. Now I know I would have done things differently if I could go back in time, but I don't think I am where I am now solely by my own doing. I believe GOD has me exactly where he wants me. Humbled! Truely... humbled! In recognizing GOD, and placing GOD as "first and foremost", I have been able to gain some of "me" back. In other words, I am being rebuilt! I am not fearful of this change, and quite honestly, welcome it! So to end this properly, I would liken what I have gone through from 94 to 09 as a whether forecast.... These past few days have been cloudy with occasional thunderstorms that sometimes had hail the size of golf balls, but the for the next few days, the skies are clearing up, we will see more sunshine and have time to come out of the house and partake in some of this great wheather. Now!.. Back to You CSG.

...and a new journey begins!

I woke up this morning with one mission that was absolutely pressing and that was to help a friend out. This has been an ongoing mission for quite some time. I find that I am constantly helping someone achieve their goals,and in turn, it makes me happy to see the mission accomplished. But wait just one minute! I am not talking about just any goal, I am talking about goals that an injustice or deterrent prevents from materializing. Goals that will enrich life!

Life is already challenging enough without having to constantly fight for simple rights, but sometimes this is what we have to do. I believe when someone or something wages trouble against those we hold close, we must suit up to help them, whether it is helping them find their keys to helping them find alternative ways around stumbling blocks. One thing is for sure! We cannot achieve our ultimate goals alone. We must have faith, wisdom, and understanding to form a support system that works even when we are out of sync, out of our realm of expertise, or when we have simply fallen.

We should each be this person to a friend, significant other, stranger, and sometimes to those we don't personally like!